The way I perceive birthdays, has changed significantly since my childhood. The only ones I could particularly recall are the ones when I was a year old and when I was 5 years old. Although I am not able to "recall them" in the literal sense, the pictures seem to rebuild the experience for me. As years progressed, through school and college, the significance of this event seemed to deteriorate exponentially as nothing good comes out of this event. It is a waste of time, energy, resources and a so-called event of making memoirs for life which sounds too juvenile.
Although I try to put myself in a delusion of being happy for the other person (the one who has his birthday that day), my intellect constantly incites me to make him aware that this day is meant to indicate the end of yet another milestone in your life. This day hollers out to me that my days are numbered, I might not know what that number is but it is finite. Get busy with what it is that I aim to do, don't procrastinate. It's OK to go with my friends for a party or cut a cake but then, I am made the centre of attraction and even I like to pamper my ego when others extol me. This lulls me into a false sense of security, that I am going to be protected, I am the only thing that matters, to everyone, to my friends, my parents, my loved ones; my expectations reach a soaring high and later that becomes a seminal cause of pain later sometime.
Also the cake cutting tradition seems futile to me and it is only a western tradition which ought not be over-rated the way it is today. Especially wasting the cake by smearing it across the face and other body parts does not seem fun but detestable to me.
Call me callous for this but I don't want to put up an affectation of surprise and awe on my face when someone cuts the cake for me or putting up an expression of surprise when someone gifts me something. It is definitely conveying that person's love for me and I respect that feeling, but the judging of your face after receiving the gift is what I loathe. Sometimes, I feel that I must compulsorily like the gift or else it would hurt others; like I have to feel guilty if I openly say out that I did not like this present because I hurt his/her sentiments. That's why I am of the opinion that one should give away what he wants to as a gift and let the alter person decide for himself respecting his views. People lack the humility to accept that it's fine if someone does not like my present and then later host feelings of animosity against that person. I have been through a part of this in my school years. Sorry to sound offensive if I do but that's my idea of a birthday!
The best one can attain out of birthday is solitude. This is probably the only day which I want to spend totally by myself; I want to introspect myself; retrospect my past activities; see my stand in life currently; plan for the future and be calm and peaceful, not excited at the thrill of gifts, surprises and the wishes on social media etc. as this is a day I deserve to have it my own way. People do try to pull me into it but I have my ideology of this day and I want to live it this way.
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