The idea
that one owns something, makes him/her more attached to that thing and he/she
starts over-valuing it or becoming possessive about it or being more vulnerable
to losing it. This has some subtle consequences which are difficult to point
out but influence the way we think.
Consider
you develop some idea or a thought strikes you like an epiphany or consider that
while working some revelation occurs to you and you fall in love with your
idea. This happens to everyone without any exception. Then, if some other
person comes to you to present an alternate view, you are so much in love with
your ideas that you discard his views or just try to prove yourself right by
using any irrational arguments. That shows how owning something could be
considered to be a loss of a person in terms of looking at other people’s
views, perspectives and opinions. This is why clash of ideologies take place. People
end up having vi-vaad and not sam-vaad because they are not ready to accept
other person’s ideas over theirs. An exchange of ideas in a healthy way and
their mutual understanding between two conversing people to have better
understanding is called samvaad. But when both stick to their respective opinion,
it is called vi-vaad and a meaningless feud ensues and no one gains anything
out of it.
There are three main causes why
we start owning something. First is the natural tendency of humans to love what
they actually have. A survey was conducted in a Chinese adoption centre
involving 10 parents and 5 girls which they adopted and after a few years
reviews from parents revealed that they were extremely happy with their
daughters and they were concerned over how did people at the centre came to
know which child was matched with which parent. On asking, the centre revealed that
they randomly matched girls with parents and it is the instant human instinct
to get attached to what they have, made them love their children. Same is true
for ideas, things, people and everything that surround us.
Secondly,
we believe that the person with whom we are sharing our ideas or thoughts
should understand it in the exact same way as we do and even if he/she does, he/she
does not feel great about it or does not appreciate it or does not just feel
the way we do cause he/she was fed the idea from a third party and didn’t get
it on his own. We feel like having made some startling discovery; out of reach
of our companion, which makes the thought of that idea special and attaches us
more to it giving rise to an ownership kind of feeling. Just because something occurred
to you makes you like it (and eventually lead to ownership) since it boosts
your self –esteem.
Thirdly human tendency of
focussing on what we may lose makes us vulnerable to lose that thing and
thereby we end up over-valuing it. If you own a ticket to an IPL match, and if
a scalper asked to give it to some other
person you may price 2k Rs whereas if
you did not have the tickets and want to purchase tickets for the same match from a scalper you might say 1k Rs
is probably the maximum amount I can pay. Although the fun quotient is the
same, the difference in prices seems ineffable but it is not.
There is
a saying that says “One man’s ceiling is other man’s floor.” It elaborately
explains the overpricing of an item by the seller (who is the owner) but for
the same item why a buyer offers less value. The love of the owner for the item,
his emotional attachment to the item, the memories associated with it makes the
item more valuable to the owner whereas for the buyer it is any other ordinary
item like plenty of others out there. This is precisely why the owner of
tickets wants to sell it for at least 2k Rs whereas buyer expects to get the
ticket in 1k Rs max. Same holds good for ideas and thoughts.
To be
continued…
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